Bwa ha ha! I was just thinking about the realities of sex in real life vs the romantic crap we see on TV. Let's get into it

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Car Sex

• It's not that comfortable because there isn't enough space at all which means movement is very limited. You can easily get a cramp so bad such that you'll practically cry and scream, but not in the sexy way, and your partner will have to massage your calf until the muscles finally relax.

Sex In The Tub

• It looks beautiful and romantic on TV but taking a bath together is difficult because, let’s be honest, most tubs are not big enough for one grown person and definitely not big enough for two. Now, imagine trying to fuck in such a small space. All the water will just spill out and you’ll both squashed together in a tub with water barely up to your laps, shivering in the cold bathroom air.

Food In Bed Sex

• Food in bed sounds like a sexy idea until you decide to use honey because you think its very romantic. But what you don't realise is that it's the stickiest thing ever. It will stick to your body and the bed linen in an unsexy way. Whipped cream doesn’t actually hold its position, it melts and goes splat on the sheets and chocolate sauce will look disgusting.

 

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Black couple having sex in doggy position

 

 

Beautiful Face During An Orgasm

• Guys think a woman will remain looking beautiful during an orgasm (I've also seen women practicing their orgasm face in the mirror). Bwa ha ha! Trust me, she'll look like she's eating a lemon. Her mouth, eyes and cheeks will all be facing different directions. Her eyes will roll back, puff up and will turn red. Her make-up would have worn off with hair all over her place. Bruh, she will be as ugly as a pig. Trust me.

Ejaculating In Her Mouth

• Porn has got a lot of men thinking that women enjoy the taste of cum. In the real world, some do, most don't and many can't stand it. If you cum in her mouth, she could actually end up throwing up. The last thing you don't want is to shoot cum down her throat and some ends up in the wind pipe. She'll literally choke and spend anything up to an hour trying to cough the cum out of her neck.
If you cum on her face, she might end up getting some in her eye. It sounds funny but then she'll have to spend the next fifteen minutes flushing out their eyes. Cum can cause a pink eye.

 

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Passionate Sweaty Sex

• It sounds romantic when I write about it in my stororos but have you ever had your partner drip sweat on your face or lips whilst on top of you? It's not as sexy as you think. It is kinda disgusting lol.

Dirty Talk Sex

• After watching rough porn, your man decides to play the role of the rough porn star. From nowhere during sex, he starts saying crap like "You fucking bitch. You whore". LMAO! Sounds sexy when watching porn, and it sometimes does sexy when said right in real life but it can also be off putting in real life.

Ripping Each Other's Clothes Off

• It's just not going to happen in real life. You will never allow each other to destroy each other's clothing. Imagine someone trying to destroy the buttons off your favourite Ralph Lauren shirt and trying to rip apart that favourite Gucci blouse you wear only on special occasions. I've only had that kinda sex when we've wildly removed our clothes off...almost ripping them. 

This is all I can think of for now. I think I'll come back with part 2 of this in future. I'm out so...

Icho!

 

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