Ha ha da! I was just thinking about the realities of sex vs the romantic crap we see on TV.
- It's not comfortable because there isn't enough space at all which also means movement is very limited. You can easily get a cramp so bad such that you're practically crying and screaming, but not in the sexy way, and your partner will have to massage your calf until the muscles finally relax.
- It looks beautiful and romantic on TV but taking a bath together is difficult because, let’s be honest, most tubs are not big enough for one grown person and definitely not big enough for two. So all the water will just spill out and you’re both squashed together in a tub with water barely up to your laps, shivering in the cold bathroom air.
Food In Bed
- Food in bed sounds like a sexy idea until you decide to use honey because you think its very romantic. But what you don't realise is that it's the stickiest thing ever. It will stick to your body and the bed linen in an unsexy way. Whipped cream doesn’t actually hold its position, it melts and goes splat on the sheets and chocolate sauce will look disgusting.
Beautiful Face During An Orgasm
- Guys think a woman will remain looking beautiful during an orgasm. Ha ha da! Trust me, she'll look like she's just eaten a lemon. Her mouth, eyes and cheeks will all be facing different directions. Her makeup would have worn off with hair all over her place. Bruh, she will be as ugly as a pig.
Ejaculating In Her Mouth
- Porn has got a lot of people thinking that women enjoy the taste of cum. In the real world, some do, most don't and many can't stand it. If you cum in her mouth, she could actually end up throwing up. The last thing you don't want is when you shoot cum down her throat and some ends up in the wind pipe. She'll literally choke and spend anything up to an hour trying to cough the cum out of her neck.
If you cum on her face, she might end up getting some in her eye. It sounds funny but then she'll have to spend the next fifteen minutes flushing out their eyes. Cum can cause a pink eye.
Passionate Sweaty Sex
- It sounds nice when I write about it in my stororos but have you ever had your partner drip sweat whilst on top of you? It's not as sexy as you think. It is kinda disgusting lol.
- After watching rough porn, your man decides to play the role of the rough porn star. From nowhere during sex, he starts saying crap like "You bitch, you like to be fucked rough isn't it? You whore". LMAO! Sounds sexy when watching porn but it can be very offending in real life.
Ripping Each Other's Clothes Off
- It's just not going to happen in real life. You will never allow each other to destroy each other's clothing. Imagine someone trying to destroy the buttons off your favourite shirt and trying to rip apart that favourite blouse you wear only on special occasions.
This is all I can think of for now. I'll come back with part 2 of this. Hopefully Adina will come with her version of this.
Sugar Dick Dupree